Te amo
by krasivaya tantsovshchitsa
Summary: A collection of short stories of grieving for Alex. R.I.P. Te amo Alex! we love you!


**Dear Alex,**

**Te amo Alex R.I.P. I wrote this collection of stories for you. To be honest we weren t best friends but we had a comfortable silent friendship going on and I know that if you were still here with us we would have became good friends. I miss you, you were always quiet and sweet but when you started talking you wouldn t stop. I miss you girlie.**  
><strong>Love you forever,<strong>

**Jacquelyn**

"Why didn t you tell me Alex died?" I didn t know, how could I know, no one told me. My heart stopped, my stomach dropped, I couldn't breathe. Her face flashed across my eyes from the first time I met her to the last. The sounds of lockers slamming, students bustling, teachers yelling, they were lost to me. I have a small amount of people that I let get close to me. It's this group that knows even when I'm silent I scream a millions words saying how much I appreciate them.

She was silently there too, she knew that I enjoyed just sitting quietly there with her sometimes I would try to say things but I couldn t think of anything to say so I just smile at her, and she will smile back. It was funny because when she would start to talk she wouldn t stop. I floated to the car like a ghost scared and shocked of what I just heard.

I told my mom what happened, she couldn't say anything to make me feel better, she knew that but I appreciated her attempt. I don t like people feeling sorry for me so I wouldn't cry, not in front of my mom. I hate crying in front of her because she will hold me and say sorry normally I like when she holds me but right now I just want to be alone. I stared out the window, watching the scenery change from cars and rich people houses to old beat up houses and rusting items in the yard that looked like they were straight out of a horror movie, my horror movie.

When we picked up my sister my mom said that she had to go by Petsmart. On the way there I could feel the tears burning my eyes. My sister got me a sweet tea from Taco Casa I had drank all of mine and was working on hers, which was almost full. If I stopped drinking I would burst into tears. Once she was in the store, we sat there in silence for about thirty seconds before I couldn't hold it in any longer.

I burst into tears, making inhuman sounds, gasping for breath, why did she have to die? Why did it have to be her? Did she die on impact immediately or was she burned to death, did she suffer? I always thought it was a good thing to have a big imagination, but right now it was killing me. I clenched my eyes closed as the tears leaked like a storm, I couldn't breathe, and I made gargling sounds while trying to breathe.

It's not fair, but I guess it never is. The one question that rang through my head was why? Why her, why this, why at 14, why couldn t she live her life? The only noise I could here was the pathetic wailing and gargling noises I made, I couldn t do anything. I would even cough out a cry while trying to stop when I saw my mom walking back. I rubbed my face and took deep breaths as my sister held me with tears leaking out every once in a while. I make her let go, I just want to be alone.

I ignored the urges to cry as she got into the car. She turned around and looked at me. "Wow, you cried hard." I gave her a small wobbly smile at her attempt to make the situation better by mentioning my very blotchy red face. I m a horrible crier, I get all snotty and blotchy and puffy it's just horrible. Some people can be beautiful and cry at the same time, not my family.

I swallowed all my tears and wails for when I get home, I won't cry here, I hate crying in front of people. When we got home I went straight to my room and hugged a pillow tight to my chest. I squeezed it so hard my body started to shake. My sister was telling my grandparents what happened. I took a deep breath and let tears fall freely down my cheeks.

I fell asleep to the memory of her and Courtney laughing and eating Mexican candy together. I was later woken up to be asked if I wanted to go to dinner with my grandparents and sister, I didn t feel like eating at all. I got to stay home and barely ate. I couldn t, knowing that Alex would never eat again, or brush her hair and teeth, or even take showers. Every time I do something I take a lingering second to think about her. I miss her, a lot, we all miss her.


End file.
